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My Pointshoes--My Purpose?
When I was four, I asked my mom to take me to a Ballet class after seeing the first ballet performance in my life. My mom did and I kept dancing ballet since then till the age of 13. I did not just randomly quit, I was forced to. On Mar. 21st 2008, my mom and I flew to Shanghai for an audition for the Shanghai Far East Professional dance school. I was so determined and did well on that. I got the offer and celebrated my birthday with my mom, my ballet classmates who went on the same trip with me and it was almost like the best day in my life. After the birthday party, my mom and I went back to the hotel. I was going to shower and she was on her phone, suddenly, at the moment I was gonna step into the bathroom, she said, "You are not going to take the offer." "What?" I paused and thought I heard her wrong. "Yoyo you cant go to this school." "What do you mean?! I couldn't be here without your permission! You bought the plane ticket!" "Yeah, I just wanted you to have some experience dealing with pressure and have a broader sight of the world. After all Shanghai is the most properous city in China." "What?!" I felt tricked and fooled and everything negative. I looked at her face as she went on talking about the reason and how she never actually mean for me to become professional in dance and her face became blurry and her words were fading because tears would not control themselves and I freaked out. That was suppose to be the purpose of my life, I thought. That was everything that I wanted-- to dance in pointe shoes, to perform on stage and to feel free. But now everything, EVERYTHING is taken away because my purpose of breathing was taken away. I couldn't fight, after all I need my mom's money for tuition. I cried for the whole night and finally passed out into sleep because I was too tired crying. Now as I think of it, my mom's choice was right because a pair of pointe shoes is too small for me, too little to be my whole life and my purpose. I would love to explore and learn and meet new things. However, I will never give up my little dream of my pointe shoes and I will keep this old friend--my once life purpose with me. Because it has become part of me. |